Dreams of Badness
by starfirenight
Summary: Starfire has been having nightmares all week of her horrific past, but cannot talk about it due to the fact that none of the other Titans know about it. But when someone hears her crying and comes to comfort her, what will happen? Will she finally tell someone? And will more secrets be revealed? First Fan Fic


Author's Note: This is my first fanfic, so take it easy on me! ;) I know this is a cliche idea, but I like how this turned out. I hope you all enjoy and check out my other stories too! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

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Starfire's POV

I woke up with a jolt and began panting, drenched in a cold sweat. Another dream of badness. I checked to make sure that I indeed did have all of my body parts, and that I was in my room in titans tower.

Lately I have been having the dreams of badness and I do not know what to do about them. My dreams are of my time in the citadel, a time I have not yet discussed with my friends. Therefore I can not seek the comfort from them. I fear they will reject me and find me disgusting. I'm especially concerned with Robin.

I am very much in the love with Robin. I do not know if he returns my affections, but the others assure me he does. Even though Robin and I are not doing the dating, he is still my very best friend. He is the very protective of me and does not like to see me hurt. X'hal if he could see me now.

My knees drawn up to my chest and I am crying very hard into them, my face hidden behind my legs. I am crying so hard I am shaking. It is more than likely very loud sobbing, I am surprised no one has awaken...

"Starfire?"

I immediately tense. I know that voice, and I do not know whether to be the happy or the scared of what will happen next. Feeling his covered eyes on me, I still refuse to move.

"Starfire, what's wrong?" Robin asks me, concern evident in his voice.

It is the middle of the night I realize, he was probably sleeping, and more than likely having pleasant schlorvaks. Now I feel the bad for doing the waking of him. "I am sorry if I awoke you friend Robin" I say, my face still buried in my knees.

"Star it's fine, don't worry I was just laying in bed when I thought I heard crying. I'm worried about you" he says as I hear him make his way over to my bed and I feel his weight settle on the mattress beside me.

He is worried about me? The thought sends chills up my spine. "I am fine friend Robin, it was just a dream of badness. Now please, go back to bed and get the shut of eye" I say hoping to convince him to leave. I am sure he realizes this because he doesn't move.

A comforting hand is placed on my shoulder and he says gently "You were having a bad dream? Star I'm sorry."

Finally I look up at him, and my eyes widen. Realizing he is only wearing the sweat pants, ,y breathing quickens. I try to avert my gaze so I am not doing the "checking him out" but it is hard, he is very toned. When my eyes finally make it to his face I notice his mask is slightly crooked, but his hair is surprisingly still fairly spiked. It looks like he rushed here quickly. His face holds a look of concern.

"It is not your fault Robin, I have been having the mare of nights all week" I say sheepishly looking down at my blanket. I know he will not like that I have been hurting and I did not tell him, trying to keep it all to myself.

"Oh god" he says, realizing what I have been going through every night, "Star you've been having nightmares all week?" clear pain evident in his voice. "Why didn't you tell me?" Robin asks, both hands laying limp in his lap.

"I did not wish to do the bothering of you" I say while I continue to stare at my blanket and pick at invisible lint. It is not the whole truth, but not a lie either.

I feel his finger under my chin lifting my face up to meet his gaze. "Star, you've never bothered me. We're best friends, I'm always here for you" he says with such care and love that I fall even more in love with him in that moment. I start to cry again from his touching words. "Did I do something wrong?" he asks me a little panicked that he hurt my feelings.

Giving a quiet giggle, I wrap my arms around his chest and hug him, resting my head on his heart. The continous thump of his heart soothes me. He calms when he realizes he did not do the hurting of my feelings. Then wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. Resting his chin on top of my head and stroking my hair. This is very nice, I can't help but think. Even though I just had the mare of nights, merely Robin's presence can calm me.

He asks gently "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I immediately tense. Truly no, I do not wish to discuss it, but I would do the getting pf it off my chest. Should I? But what if he rejects me? What if he no longer wishes to be my friend? What if I ruin my chances with him?

I must have had an uncertain look on my face because Robin says "You can trust me Star."

I take a deep breath and pull away from our hug sitting across from him on my bed. "My mar... nightmare was about my past Robin." When I say this he looks a little intrigued about where this was going. I take a deep breath and continue "I have never spoken of my past for a reason Robin, it is not a very good one and I did not wish to discuss it, but I have been having the nightmares about it, so it is time I told you."

I take a deep breath and try to calm the nerves I feel. Robin grabs my hand and gives it a light squeeze saying "It's ok star, you don't have to..."

I cut him off saying "No Robin I must. It will help me do the healing and it is only fair since we are the best of friends. You must promise though to hear the whole story before saying anything. Your thoughts of me will change and I wish to make sure you know everything before you do the making up of your mind."

Robin looked a little confused but just says "Ok Star."

I take a deep breath and begin slowly "As you know, I am princess of the planet Tamaran. When I freed myself from the Gordanians and crashed here on Earth I told you all I was a prize, but this is only partially true. When I was younger my planet was at war with the Citadel, a monstrous race that are Tamaran's sworn enemies. Our races have been fighting on and off for generations. Tamaran always won, except this time. The Citadel broke through our planet's defenses with extreme agility, and I later learned that Blackfire had sold out our secrets to them. All of Tamaran's inhabitance would have been killed, so there was a peace treaty made, and in the peace treaty it stated that there was to be a prisoner of war given to the Citadel from royal descent."

Looking over at him with misery, I see his eyes were slightly wider behind his mask, already knowing what I was about to clarify. "I was given to the Citadel as a prisoner of war, but they did not treat me as such. I was a slave and was given to a master. Being the princess no one was allowed to touch me, but that was not the case with the Citadel. The master I was given to he would… he would often whisper words of foulness in my ear while touching me inappropriately." I look over at Robin to see his face set with anger and his fists clenched, his eyes squeezed shut. I continue "One day, he got tired of waiting for me to mature… and he… he, oh X'hal…" I begin to cry and look up at the ceiling "he attempted to, to couple with me. That was the breaking point for me, without even thinking I… I killed him."

Robin did not move or say anything so I continued explaining to him in exasperation "Please, you must understand in my culture killing is acceptable! I bring shame by letting him touch me in that way!" I see no change in him so I become the even more desperate. I keep rambling "I would have been honored and glorified for killing him! Once I realized heroes of Earth did not kill I changed my ways! I…" I get the cut off when Robin grabs me and crushes me to his chest.

"Starfire I am so, so, so, so sorry. My opinion is not changed of you, you are the most incredible person I have ever met. I'm glad you killed him, that's what the sick bastard deserved. My opinion of you could never change." I look up at him and see tears running from beneath his mask. His face is so sincere that I know he is telling the truth.

I am so relieved to hear him say those words. I have been dreading this for so long, and I could not be happier. Wrapping my arms around him once more, I cry into his chest. He just sits there holding me and stroking my hair until I calm enough to push away and sit facing him once more.

"There is more, I am afraid" I say with sadness, looking down to avoid his gaze.

"There's more?!" Robin asks.

"Yes..." I look at the floor and take another deep breath "after I killed the master I escaped from the ship and drifted around in space until I was captured by the Psions. They are a twisted race that take beings and perform evil experiments on them for their own personal knowledge. The experiments usually ending in the being's demise. I discovered that my sister and brother had been captured as well when I was being moved around the ship. They forced me into a lab and strapped me to a cold metal table. The Psions decided on seeing how much energy my siblings and I's bodies could handle before we exploded. One day after a very huge amount of energy was pumped through my body, and I woke up, I found myself able to produce starbolts. I freed myself and broke out my siblings as well. I found out that Blackfire and I had starbolts while my younger brother, Ryand'r, had a starbolt that could be used as a shield but not thrown. Together we defeated the ship, loosing Ryand'r in the process. Blackfire blamed me for his death and left me, her haterd of me growing even more. I returned home depressed and exhausted to find both of my parents had died do to broken hearts. The new grand ruler was enraged to see me, fearing the treaty would be broken, and immediately contacted the Citadel to arrange the return of me. The Gordanians, who were hired by the Citadel to return me, came and detained me. We were on our way to the Citadel when I broke out of the ship, and crash landed on Earth. Where I met you and the others. You were the first person to show me the kindness since my K'norfka Galfore, which calmed me and allowed me to trust you." Finishing my story, I look over at him.

He has a look of anger, sadness, kindness, and awe on his face. "Star, after going through all of that, how are you so happy? Why do you float everywhere and smile?" he asks, clearly confused.

Looking into his mask, I answer the whole hearted truth "I met you."

Shocked by my answer, Robin looks like he is going to do the saying of something, but then hesitates and sits there for a minute. Then his face changes and he asks me "Guess it's my turn now isn't it?"

I sit there with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. Robin never talks about his past, ever. "Oh no Robin, you need not share. I only shared because I wanted to, you do not have to. It is the o and k" I say, truly meaning every word.

"No Starfire, it is not the o and k. After hearing the hell you've been through, it's only fair" he tells me, an air of finalization in his voice.

I am still not thoroughly convinced "Robin, please you..."

He immediately cuts me off, saying "No star, I want to" he takes my hand and looks into my eyes "Trust me."

Blushing at the contact, I silently thank for the cover of darkness. I nod my head in agreement at his request and look up at him, giving him my full attention.

"Ok, ummm..." he rubs the back of his neck with his free hand "I guess I can start by saying that my name is Dick Grayson, but my real name is Richard. Dick is just a nickname, you can call me whichever."

"Richard?" I say uncertainly, testing the name out on my tongue. It is the most glorious name I have ever heard, and I voice my opinion "What a glorious name."

He smiles sheepishly and says "Thanks. Ok so when I was really little my parents and I were in a travelling circus called Hayley's Circus. My family and I were known as the 'Flying Graysons'. We were acrobats that worked on the trapeze." He smiles in remembrance as he speaks "That was one of the happiest times in my life. Travelling around in the circus with my family, but that all changed one night" he says as his smile fades and his face becomes stoic.

"One night before a show I heard someone threaten the owner of the circus telling him he needed to pay for protection, but when Mr. Hayley refused the man and told him to leave, the man said he would regret his decision. I didn't think much of it being so young, but now I wish I had. They never performed with a safety net, being some of the best acrobats in the world. The man that asked for money, or Tony Zucco; a vicious crime boss, had sabotaged the wires with acid. While they were in the middle of their act the wires snapped, and they fell to their deaths. I… I watched them fall to their deaths and knew I could do nothing to save them" Robin finishes with a sad look on his face as a single tear rolls down his face from under his mask.

I gasp and cover my mouth with both of my hands and begin crying. My heart breaking for the boy sitting in front of me.

He takes a shuddering breath and continues "Bruce Wayne was in the crowd that day, and he could relate to me after having his parents shot in front of him at a young age. Not long after I was sent to the orphanage he came to adopt me. I was angry, depressed, and confused, swearing on revenge by killing Tony Zucco. I trust you enough with this secret, but you must understand that you can't tell anyone, ok?" he asks me, turning to look at me.

Slowly I nod my head. What is he going to tell me? I would never do something like that, it must be very important. After confirming this he begins once more "After adopting me and becoming aware of my intentions, Bruce revealed to me that he was Batman and offered to train me as his sidekick. I agreed and he began training me, and a little time later I was ready. Bruce told me to pick a name that had meaning. Since I was born on the first day of spring, my mom used to call me her 'little Robin' so I picked the name Robin to commemorate their memory" he finishes and looks up at me.

I stare at the floor, processing what he had just told me. Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy, was the Batman? When I finally accepted what he had told me I gave a little nod and looked up.

Looking at me, we stare at each other for a while, both of our hearts aching for the other. Some where I find the courage to slowly reach my hand out and grip the edge of his mask. I look at him for conformation to which he nods his head in agreement. I slowly peel the cloth away from his face and once fully removed place it on the table beside my bed. I turn around and look into his eyes. Emerald green meets dazzling blue.

They are the most glorious things I have ever seen in my life. They are an electrifying blue that warms me to my core. "Glorious" I breath.

Robin cups the side of my face in his hand and rubs his thumb across my cheek in soothing circles. He is staring into my eyes as if he is looking into my soul. He slowly leans forward, and by some unknown force I am pulled towards him as if my body is straining to meet his. My eyes flutter closed as our lips meet in a gentle kiss that lasts no longer than a few seconds, but leaves me breathless.

Tamaranians do not show affection by kissing, lip contact is viewed as merely a transfer of knowledge and is only platonic. Upon watching the 'flicks of chicks' though I have begun fantasizing what kissing Robin would be like. This was the thousand times better than I could have ever done the imagining.

After breaking apart, we stare into one another's eyes. His lips only a few centimeters away from mine. A smile slowly spreads across my face, and I begin blushing a bright red.

After I catch my breath I ask "Richard?"

"Yeah star?" he asks me, the same goofy smile on his face.

"I love you" I say, staring into his eyes.

He smiles even wider and says "I love you too Star."

I smile the brightest smile I ever have in my life. "Richard?" I ask again.

"Yeah Star?"

"Does this mean I am your girlfriend?" I ask, true hope shining in my eyes.

He takes my hand and says "I would love to have you as my girlfriend Star. That is, if you'll have me?" he asks.

I smile and say "Of course Richard, that is all I have ever wanted."

I let out a surprised 'eep' when he tackles me and lays on top of me smiling, happiness reflecting in his twinkling eyes. He then kisses me and I immediately respond, arching my head up to meet his. Our lips move together with passion until I feel his tongue lightly graze across my lips, asking for entry. I happily oblige him and open my mouth. He slips his tongue inside my mouth and I immediately experience a new type of sensation. His tongue tastes and explores until he has explored my whole mouth, then I do the same to him. He tastes amazing, like the sweetest thing I have ever tasted in my life. He tangles his hands in my hair and then runs his hands along my sides, trying to touch all of me. I moan with pleasure and grip his hair with both hands lightly tugging on it.

When we finally break our passionate kiss for air, and I catch my breath, a thought crosses my mind. My mouth twists into a smirk "If I knew having the mare of nights would have led to this, I would have shared them a lot sooner" I say, running my hand through his hair.

"Well it looks like we have a lot of nightmares to kiss away then" he says, the same smirk on his face.

"Then let us get started…"

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I have edited it once more so it's easier to read and hopefully has a lot fewer mistakes, but no one's perfect. I hope you all enjoyed it and please review! Also fave this if you liked it, that's all for now my lovelies! :)


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